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Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Jonathan Safran Foer

The Stand

The Stand - Stephen King This is a love story between a gal called Flan and her man Stew and how it survives the bad people who try to destroy them. The book starts with Fran getting pregnant (but not to Stew - someone else but I won't say his name cos I don't want to spoil the plot). Her boyfriend dies along with a lot of other people because there is this flu virus that is killing them. Anyway she hangs out with a creepy dude for a while who loves her but she doesn't like him because he smells and is useless. She travels with him until she finds something better. She meets Stew and he's a real man because he intends to fuck her. He says so in his head (you see it in italics on the page thats how I know it's in his head). So yeah he fucks her and takes her from creepy dude (thank God!). That dude is so creepy. Anyway creepy dude fades from the story and dies horribly later on. Anyway, back to Fran, she's pregnant and most of the book is about Stew consoling Fran and then crying and then fucking her, sometimes in that order and sometimes not. They talk about things like the baby and how much they love each other. Now there's a bad man in the West who's building an A-Bomb. A creepy old black woman tells Stew and his friends they should go West. She's meant to be the voice of God in the story but she's sooooo creepy. I don't get it. Anyway they follow this woman's instructions and head West. On the way Stew breaks his leg and his friends (Barry, Manny and Bob) leave him to die. Mean I know.... But they get what they deserve and die anyway cos you see there's actually 2 crazy evil people at work, the Walking Man and Trash Can Man, and Trash Can Man builds an A-Bomb and explodes it in Walking Man's face while Barry, Manny and Bob are around. It was soooo dumb of creepy black woman to send Stew and his friends West cos they didn't do anything. Trash Can Man would have killed Walking Man without them around. Anyway back to Stew. Remember we left him for dead but he doesn't die cos he has a dog that hunts and builds fires and shit. So him, the dog and a retard make it back to the town they came from, back to Fran who's given up Stew for dead. It's a bit of an adventure, kinda like the Incredible Journey (that story with a dog and a cat), and on the way they ride a snow mobile, cross glaciers and have all sorts of adventures before Stew is reunited with Fran. Then they have a baby!